"J.W.
phone home"
Sunday, November 12th
Although
life right now is very busy God is faithful to provide me with
just enough time. It's amazing how much I look forward to my
classes and studies when I have so much else going on. Today
was very difficult after church this morning - I found out that
basically no one is interested in doing video for Christmas concerts.
Last year I took it upon myself to go find a crew and set everything
up - but my hope had been that people within that major, Comm,
would step up into leadership positions.
News
of this came right before I was planning on heading down to the
Computer Lab to write an important piece of music. I still tried
but the ideas that had been so fresh were gone and replaced by
ever growing depression. Suddenly nothing seemed possible, nothing
was going to work, and everything was falling apart.
I
phoned home, just needing to talk with my family. For some people
I guess the busier they are the less they call home - but not
for me. Being able to call my dad has often been a beautiful
picture of the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father. He
is always there waiting to hear my heart. And there's no dropped
calls either. Of course, not all phone calls home are for me,
but this one was because I needed someone to talk to. And there
were only two people who would work right now - Dad or Mom.
My
mom picked up the phone much to my comfort and I can hardly describe
how wonderful it is to hear about one's brother and sister and
what worship at church was like and how youth group will be tonight
when you're over more than a thirty hour drive away. Then mom
gave wonderful advice and told me what I needed to do was set
my work aside and go for a run. So I did. I left the music and
drove back up to my room. I closed my eyes for a while and rested.
Then I spent some time in prayer and then just decided that yes,
I would leave everything and go run.
It
was a wonderful day, the kind that makes for a beautiful run.
Depression and the weight of having so much to do, and now an
added burden kept trying to take over my mind, but slowly I was
able to focus on the glory of God's creation and the even greater
glory of God's grace. The cares chorus came to my mind and voice
and God moved my heart to recognize that I could indeed cast
all my cares upon Him for he cares for me.
Philippians
4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens
me"
2
Corinthians 4:7, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels
that the excellence of the power may be of God and not us."
Relief
did not come suddenly, but rather like a slow sunrise - when
the light begins to grow after the darkness of night which had
seemed to come so suddenly - like when you have been planning
a wonderful run or bike ride but try to finish your work first
and then step out the door and suddenly realize it is dark and
the day is gone. That horrible depression of sudden darkness
slowly began to turn to a grey as the sunrise of trust began
to dawn. Then suddenly the sun of faith peeked above the horizon
and worship filled my heart.
Now
it is time for bed. What better time to lift up in prayer those
who have deeper cares than I. My aunt Karen has been diognosed
with Melanoma cancer. Your prayers for her and my uncle Sterling
and cousings Ryan, Amber, Allene and Neil, would be greatly appreciated.
This is a hard time for them and one in which they need faith
- yet these times are often the most rewarding as it is through
the testing of our faith that it becomes refined. The more our
faith is tested the purer and more joy we find in Christ rather
than in life. There are so many other people, and so many greater
things in life than my trivial problems. So much more to bring
to God in prayerful worship as I acknowledge that He is in control.
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For
updates on the house construction check - The
Wheeler Family Website.
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